Consider rewriting in PHP

[austinpray]

The current functionality was hastily written in Ruby for these reasons:

• I don't have PHP installed on my host machine
• I like Ruby

But this I'm thinking this is a problem:

• It's a PHP ecosystem tool written in Ruby, I would expect to be able to install this via composer as a require-dev dep
• This should be able to be configured in composer.json to run as a post-install hook or whatever